New Muslim Answers
Question: I attend a weekly study circle in the Muslim community in my
area, and I say salams to my fellow Muslims. They constantly don’t
return my salams. Although I try not to let it bother me, this is
something disheartening. How should I respond to this in a proper
manner?
Answer:Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
Giving salams
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant
him peace) said: “When one of you arrives at the gathering, then give
the Salam, and if he is given a place to sit, then let him sit. Then
when he stands, let him give the Salam, the first is more worthy than
the last.” [Tirmidhi]
Anas narrated that the Prophet (may Allah
bless him and grant him peace) said, “As-Salam (peace) is one of the
Names of Allah Almighty which Allah has placed in the earth. Therefore
give the greeting among yourselves.” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]
Abu
Hurairah reported that the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him
peace) said, “You will not enter the Garden until you believe and you
will not believe until you love one another. Shall I tell you something
the doing of which will give you love of one another?” “Yes, Messenger
of Allah,” they replied. The Prophet said, “Make the greeting common
practice among you.” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]
Please continue to give
salams, as it is part of our sunnah, a means of building love, and a
reminder of one of Allah’s beautiful attributes. Keep your intention for
Allah Most High. Model good character as a means of encouraging others
to good. Doing good acts is harder when others do not reciprocate.
Persisting in good acts is a sign of your sincerity, inshaAllah.
Good opinion of others
Hamdun al-Qassar, one of the great early Muslims, said, “If a friend
among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts
are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own
selves.” [Imam Bayhaqi, Shu`ab al-Iman, 7.522] Excerpt from Making 70
Excuses for Others in Islam – A Key Duty of Brotherhood by Shaykh Faraz
Rabbani.
I am not sure why they are not returning your salams,
but try to make excuses for them. Don’t blame it on yourself. You aren’t
doing anything outrageous or strange by giving salams. Please rest
assured that you’re doing the right thing.
Convert to Islam
“And obey Allah and His Messenger, and do not dispute (with one
another) lest you lose courage and your strength depart, and be patient.
Surely, Allah is with those who are As-Sabirin (the patient ones).”
[Qur’an, 8:46]
I am sorry to hear that you already feel excluded.
This is a common challenge for converts to Islam. It is so it is easy
to look inwards when others behave coolly towards you. Take heart that
nothing is lost with Allah; He is aware of all the good that you do, and
He knows your sadness. Take this as a lesson in developing patience
with Allah and His Creation. Persevere in doing that which pleases Him,
and trust that He will send you an opening.
Please perform the
Prayer of Need and ask Allah to send you good companions, and to lift
sorrow from your heart. Take active steps to seek out friends who
increase your love for Allah and His Messenger (upon him be blessings
and peace). Good people can be found in good places.
That being said, remember that Allah is your Closest Companion, and He will never let you down.
